dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
