in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
