I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
