Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
