This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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