Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
