May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
