Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
