ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
