watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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