I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
