bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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