At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
