I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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