Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
