Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
