I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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