Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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