I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
