I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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