I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
a search helicopter?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
