My room smells like vodka and shame
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
