She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's always time for handjobs
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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