That's intense
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
