I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
