well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
