pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize
