why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
