I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How's work?
Spinning.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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