idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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