Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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