OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
