K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
