I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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