he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
