If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
