You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
