put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's just like the Real World with babies
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize