thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
