Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
