they need to just BURY HIM!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Come share oat with me in your robe
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
