That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
