ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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