wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
