Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
