I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
