Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
