i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so let's talk penis.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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