Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
