my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
only you would photoshop your dick
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
