it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
