It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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